


What did these arms do before they held you?

by nightmarexy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Car Sex, Childhood Friends, Developing Relationship, F/F, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, but of course SUPERCORP ENDGAME, it burns so slow it literally takes decades, yep they have sex in the car while its raining hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24322285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmarexy/pseuds/nightmarexy
Summary: The room is engulfed in darkness. And it’s supposed to be a quiet night, but the heartbeats flooding in Lena’s ears tell her otherwise. She’s scared, nervous, full of jitters-  becausehow can’t she?It took her almost thirty years to reach here.Herebeing in a bed beside her very best friend, with their hands entangling together, and no words exchanged.She doesn’t want to fuck it up.She can’t afford to fuck this up.OREvery several years, Lena and Kara stumbled upon one another’s lives to witness how a person changes, grows, and lives- in just a lifetime.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 100
Kudos: 551





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always liked the time jump stories like _Forrest Gump_ or _The Curious Case of Benjamin Button_ so this is my shot in making a story like that.  
> The story itself isn't that long, and I made it into several chapters to make the time jump easier to process.
> 
> Well, get ready, and prepare yourself for the ride.

The room is engulfed in darkness. And it’s supposed to be a quiet night, but the heartbeats flooding in Lena’s ears tell her otherwise.

She’s scared, nervous, full of jitters- because _how can’t she?_ It took her almost thirty years to reach here _._

_Here_ being in a bed beside her very best friend, with their hands entangling together, and no words exchanged.

She doesn’t want to fuck it up.

_She can’t afford to fuck this up._


	2. "Promise me you'll write?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the story begins.

The first time Kara met Lena was on the day after her ninth birthday.

She didn’t remember why she was sitting all alone in the foyer of the old American foursquare style house that people know as Grant Home of Children, nor did she remember everything Ms. Grant was saying to her last night when she was being called to her working room.

She _did_ remember being told that she will get a new friend, and she also remembered Ms. Grant saying _I want you to make her feel welcomed in this home, okay?_

Kara liked making friends. This will be a piece of cake.

Kara’s feet swung back and forth in turns as she sat patiently on the window sill. She looked at the clock and noticed that it was thirteen minutes past lunchtime, and Ms. Grant still had yet to return. She has been wanting to eat something- _anything_ for the past couple of hours, but she didn’t want her housemother to miss her when she got back.

A few minutes wouldn’t hurt. She could run to the kitchen, sneakily eat the last piece of her birthday cake she's been trying not to finish last night, and rush back here. Yes, that could work.

Just when she hopped off and landed on her feet, she saw a shiny black car pulling on the curb.

“Come here, Kiera.” Ms. Grant called out to her as she walked to the entrance door of the house with one suitcase in each of her hands. Kara stepped outside towards the blonde skinny lady and offered to help her with the suitcases, but she quickly refused. “Oh, I _can_ handle these. You go say hi to your new friend.”

And there she was. A girl with white porcelain skin, raven hair, and piercing jade eyes standing in front of her.

 _Beautiful._ That’s the only word she could think of right now.

Kara must have stared for too long because the girl suddenly looked more nervous than she was just a few seconds ago- face still composed, but her eyes flickered and she visibly swallowed something. Not wanting to cause any more uneasiness towards the girl, Kara put out her million-watt smile and raised a hand.

“Hi,” she said in a cheerful voice. “I’m Kara.”

The girl stared back into her eyes, ignoring the offered hand. It took several awkward beats until Kara’s brows pulled in confusion and she slowly let her hand go back to her side. The girl turned to face the grey wooden sided house and started walking to follow the housemother.

“Lena.”

Kara almost missed it. The girl- _Lena_ didn’t even seem to care if she heard it or not, because before Kara could say anything else, she was already inside the house and Kara was left alone on the curb. The grumbles in her stomach were suddenly replaced by anger settling in.

_So much for a new friend._

It’s been three weeks of Lena sleeping on the metal-framed bed on the opposite side of Kara’s bedroom, but she still wasn’t as close as what Kara would’ve considered as _being friends_. Furthermore, the only evidence of Lena’s existence in her life was the occasional noise she made in the middle of the night when she got up to go to the bathroom. She was quiet. Perhaps _too quiet_.

Kara, for one, didn’t care much about the girl being vaguely nonexistent, if only Ms. Grant would stop giving her the glare every time she saw Lena eating alone in the dining area.

“She didn’t want to be friends!” Kara found herself one day trying to reason with her sharp-tongued housemother.

Ms. Grant sighed in frustration as she sat on the wooden varnished desk in her workroom. She pinched her nose bridge and her eyes were closed. Kara could hear all the children playing in the yard from outside of the window. _Ugh._ Why did she have to deal with this instead of the other children?

“You didn’t have any problem being friends with the other children when they first came here. Why is it a problem now?” Ms. Grant asked her with a slight tilt of her head. “I assigned Lena to fill the empty bed in your room so that you could have an easier start at this.”

“She wouldn’t even talk to me, Ms. Grant.” Kara flailed and waved her hand to emphasize her points. “Honestly, the only thing she ever said when I was around is when she complained about bed bugs! She didn’t even mean it as a _conversation-_ she just mumbled to herself!”

“Look, Kiera,” her housemother stood and rounded her desk to sit on the leather-covered chair. “Midvale is just a small town. The world is much bigger than _just_ Midvale.” Kara felt pressured from the scrutinizing look Ms. Grant was giving her. “If you can’t handle this _little problem_ , how are you going to handle _bigger problems_ out there?”

There’s no way she could run from this responsibility.

“You said you always wanted to see the world.” Ms. Grant continued herself. “But are you prepared to face the world?”

Kara and Lena still didn’t talk to each other until one certain turning point.

Kara was sleeping when she heard a noise in the middle of the night. It wasn’t the usual noise of Lena getting up and the noise of door creaking opening and closing. It was a fainter noise- _muffled_. It sounded a lot like muffled sniffles. Perhaps because it was what it was.

When she peeked her eyes open to squint in the direction of the noise, she saw a shaking figure under the blanket.

It’s hard to tell clearly what was happening since it was really dark- the only light source being the delicate shine of the waxing crescent moon. And then she heard a snivel.

Lena was crying.

 _“Lena?”_ Kara whispered quietly as she climbed down her bed to approach the still shaking boulder of a blanket. _“Are you okay?”_

She didn’t get any solid response for about two minutes, the only reply was more snivels and weeping sounds. Kara wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. Whenever she cried, she would always like being comforted in a hug, but Kara and Lena never even keep up _one_ proper friendly conversation- let alone touch each other. Kara wasn’t even sure if Lena would appreciate her presence in this sensitive moment.

She didn’t care. There was a person in front of her who obviously needed some console, and she just couldn't _not do anything about it_.

Kara placed a tentative hand gently on top of what she expected Lena's arm would be under the blanket. The shaking was suddenly interrupted, and she withdrew her hand at the guilt of intrusion.

She was suddenly nervous. Maybe Lena didn’t want her to be here when she’s like this. Maybe she should have just hid in the bathroom until morning and pretend she didn’t know anything-

A sudden movement halted Kara’s reeling thoughts. Lena pulled down the blanket to uncover her face, and Kara was suddenly greeted with wet eyes and cheeks.

 _“Kiera,”_ Lena’s voice was small- broken. She sniffled softly. _“I miss my mum.”_

Kara didn’t realize that her own eyes had started to water. She didn’t even bother to correct her name, it seemed too trivial at the moment. The only thing she could do was to try to hold back her own tears as she attempted to offer her comfort. _“Do you need a hug?”_

The next thing Kara remembered was Lena and her wrapped in a hug under the blanket, both crying into the night.

* * *

“Why does Ms. Grant calls you _Kiera_?”

Kara wasn’t sure on how to answer that question. She didn’t know herself why her housemother always called her _that_ when she called the other children with their correct names. It’s not like her name is _that_ hard to pronounce or something.

“I’m not sure.” Kara took a spoonful of chocolate pudding and stuff it in her mouth. “No matter how many times I corrected her, she didn’t seem to catch it right.”

“Well, it shouldn’t matter that much.” Lena scooted closer towards Kara on the bench and snatched the spoon out of her hand- which she shouted _hey_ in reply. “Kara or _Kiera_ , you’re still her favourite kid in this house anyway.”

“ _What?_ Of course not!” Kara debated as she gave up her pudding for Lena to finish. “She likes everyone just as much. She likes _you too_ , you know. Ms. Grant _does not_ play favourites.”

“Yeah, right. If you’re not her favourite, tell me why she keeps on giving you an extra cup of pudding.” Lena pointed the spoon to the now-empty pudding cup.

“She knows I like it!” Kara quipped as she knitted her eyebrows. “And maybe because I was here the longest compared to the others. The children that were here when I first came have already gotten a new family.”

It’s been a few weeks of this dynamic between them. A surprising, yet a _very accepted_ development, Kara thought.

Lena, as it turned out, is not that much of a quiet person. She liked to talk, but she’s _incredibly picky_ about who she talked to. Even after over two months living in the house, there were perhaps only three people she ever talked to.

When Kara asked her why she didn't try talking with more people to make more friends, she was answered with _I only talk to someone who listens_ \- which Kara wasn’t really sure what it meant, honestly.

They were sitting on the bench in the backyard, right under the canopy jutting out the side of the house’s body. It’s always been Kara’s favourite spot to sit down and sneak a snack-eating time, away from the eyes of the children who will tattle her to Ms. Grant.

Lena set down the plastic spoon and empty cup to the ground, and then she sat back up to stare at the other children playing in the yard. Staring at the distance with clearly unfocused eyes, she asked, “How long ago was it? When you first come here.”

“When I was four. So that's like… five years ago?” Kara tried to find the memories in her brain. “I didn't remember much about where I was before Ms. Grant took me. I remembered being told that my mom and dad weren't coming home.”

“I'm sorry.” Lena said quietly, facing Kara.

“It's okay, my memories are all fuzzy. All I remembered was how I cried so much back then. I don’t cry as often now.”

“Liar, you cry all the time. _You’re a crybaby._ ”

“No! Not _all the time_.” Kara playfully pushed Lena on her arm. “I’m _not_ a crybaby!”

Lena guffawed and Kara put the sound in the box of her mind that stored all the little things she loved.

She waited until Lena calmed down before she started speaking again. “That's why my dream is to travel the world. I’ve been here _all my life_ \- I want to see what's out there, outside of this little town.” Lena hummed in understanding. “What about you? What's your dream?”

Lena’s eyes turned upwards in thought. “I guess I want to change the world. I want to make a mark, leave something great behind.” She lowered her head and smiled- a bit sadly, Kara thought. “I think it will make me feel less not important-”

“You _are_ important, Lena.” Kara quickly cut her off. “You're important to me.” Lena blinked and a hopeful smile showed on her face. “Who else is going to wake me up better than the alarm clock?”

A hand smacked Kara’s upper arm. _“Ow! I’m kidding!”_

It was nice, being like this. _This_ being a friendly water they were swimming in- talking about how they would support each other's' dreams, whereas just weeks before, they weren’t even trading simple words.

When asked about what happened before she came here- finished with _it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,_ of course, Lena’s face turned void. She pursed her lip tight, but her eyes stayed empty.

“We were at the lake, my mum and I...” Lena opened and closed her mouth several times in hesitation, only continuing when she felt Kara’s hand had covered her own. “She drowned.”

Kara could have seen her own reflection on the pair of glistening green eyes if she weren’t so busy turning into a weeping mess. 

Lena let out a watery laugh at the sight, and softly said, “I told you you’re a crybaby.”

* * *

The hardwood flooring thudded with Kara’s quick steps. She didn’t care that she would be scolded by Ms. Grant for running in the hallway. She just needed to reach the front porch as fast as she could.

“Lena!” Kara shouted at the direction of the town car parked on the curb.

She saw Lena hugging Ms. Grant before talking briefly with a tall woman, and the woman nodded as she got in the car. Kara ran approaching her pale-skinned best friend, her lungs burnt with all the running.

“You-” Kara slouched, hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. “You haven’t said goodbye.”

“You were in the bathroom earlier,” Lena said with a soft smile. “Mrs. Luthor doesn’t seem like the _most patient_ person.”

Kara chuckled, but her eyes were still sad. “Be careful. That's _your mother_ you're talking about.” Lena let out a small laugh herself.

“Promise me you'll write?” Kara whispered to dark hair as she wrapped her arms around Lena.

“Of course.”

Kara wasn't even sad because she was passed on _yet another_ adoption. And it really wasn't a surprise that Lena got a new family in just a little bit after two years of being there. She was precocious and brilliant, and- _who wouldn't fall in love with those eyes?_

Every day, Kara woke up really early just to wait around the front porch. She would look at the clock to check the time, because at about 6.34 am, Hank the mailman would come and she would rush to him and offer her hands in anticipation. He would shake his head in amusement and give Kara all the letters and packages addressed to the house.

It’s a new habit- sorting through all the mails just to find the one white envelope, signed with a neat cursive script.

_To Kara._

The letters her best friend sent her usually involved the updates going on with her life. From new schools, new friends, and of course, her new life with the Luthor family in Metropolis. Kara always found herself grinning every time Lena complained about how she has to take manners lessons with a teacher she hated.

The following summer after Lena left Grant Home of Children, it was Kara’s turn to leave.

She was adopted by the Danvers family, owner of the farm she has just started to help around part-timely. They were good people and they had a daughter, Alex, only a few years older than Kara.

The best thing was they lived pretty close to the orphanage, so that Kara could still visit Ms. Grant every other day of the week.

Lena was delighted to hear the news, of course. She even has started to send the letters directly to the new address.

Unfortunately, the letters from Lena got less and less frequent.

At first, she would receive the updates from her green-eyed best friend a few times a week, which turned to once every couple of weeks, once a month, and the time gap between each letter got further and further apart.

The last letter she received was closed with Lena’s wish, _“I hope you can see the world, Kara.”_

She sent out a reply the same day she received it. _“I know you will change the world, Lena.”_

And the letters stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spam me with comments because I love reading them!  
> Leave a kudo if you like this fic- and to cheer up my day.


	3. "How have you been?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *presses fast forward button*

The second time Lena met Kara was when she was still finishing her double degree.

It’s not an easy thing to juggle between studies and internship at her father’s company, LuthorCorp.

Why did she think she could ever have the time to do all of these at once?

She was stressed out. She went day to day highly strung. But she always managed.

This is a _good opportunity_. She should be _grateful_ that she was ever adopted into such a high-profile and respected family. People would _kill_ to be offered this kind of life to them. But growing up as a Luthor means she has to _be one_. Which means, every single tie to her old life is to be eradicated.

“Does this spark joy?” Lena spoke to herself.

Lena held up a maroon sweater she rarely wore, before decidedly throwing it across the room to a pile of clothes she had asked herself the same question earlier.

The audiobook she just listened to got her into this situation- mess and clutters all over her apartment, and she could barely walk without stepping on something that isn’t the floor.

 _Ironic_. That book was supposed to help her clean the apartment, not turn it into a recycling station.

She got up to take a look around, and a tired sigh was inevitably out of her chest.

 _God_ , she needed fresh air.

When she reached the balcony of her apartment, she was greeted by the chilly breeze of autumn. Brown, red leaves coloured all the trees around the city. National City in fall is pretty- and it’s added to the list of another reason she should be happy to move away from Metropolis.

Her phone rang in the pocket of her skinny jeans, cutting out the stolen peace out of Lena’s chaotic decluttering time. She silently cursed when she saw the caller ID.

_"Baby, where the hell are you?”_

“Actually, _hell_ is pretty accurate,” Lena remarked in a sarcastic tone. “I told you I’m not joining you and your friends to shout on the TV over the sports team that I don’t care about. I’m busy.”

 _“Come on,”_ Jack’s voice sounded commanding instead of pleading. _“I told everyone you were gonna come. Sam’s here too, you could talk to her or something if you don’t want to watch the game.”_

“I’m still in my apartment. The game will probably be over by the time I get there.”

_“At least tell me you’re joining us tonight?”_

Lena shut her eyes and rubbed the arch of her eyebrow. She can’t have her boyfriend kept bugging her like this, and the only way it could happen is if she gave in and agreed to go out with their friends tonight.

“Fine.” Lena hung up after giving her a short reply. It was _harsh_ , but she was not having the best mood.

_That does not spark joy._

When she went back to KonMari-ing her apartment, she stumbled upon a dusty metal tin box on the brink of corrosion. She instantly knew what it contained at the first sight of the box.

In fact, that box was carefully hidden by her, so that her mother wouldn’t find it when she did the surprise inspection back in their house in Metropolis. It stored the most prized possession of hers, and she can’t afford to have it thrown away along with the other things she brought along from Ms. Grant’s place.

Lena removed the lid off meticulously, to be rewarded by the familiar sight of all the letters she received from Kara.

Her _best friend_ Kara, whose smiles are the brightest she had ever encountered in a person. Who cried often despite her sunny demeanour. Who made her feel like a stone in comparison, because she rarely cries- the last time being _years_ ago, when she missed Kara _terribly_ on the first night of sleeping in the Luthor’s mansion.

She was always fond of the memories of her days spent with the blue-eyed girl back at the orphanage.

 _Okay_ , now that she was taking a peek back to her long-missed past, she really did _miss_ Kara. Even more now that everything in her life is feeling like shit.

* * *

It took several hours for Lena to _finally_ turn her apartment back to pristine condition.

Thankfully, _decluttering_ actually worked. Right after she got rid of the things she hasn’t used for the past two years or so, she felt like she got at least a little bit more control of her life.

The bathroom still steamed from the hot shower she rewarded herself, the water soothed her fatigued muscles- worn out from packing and moving things around all day. She was putting on bright red lips to finish her simple black dress look, with hair tied up in a neat ponytail.

She rode a cab to the nightclub which location had been sent to her from Jack, and when she was arriving, she already felt like this was a huge mistake.

Loud music audible from outside the building, people- _tons of people_ lining up the front door, and when some folks walked out from the club, they were _rowdy_ and a few of them even rushed to the sidewalk and started puking.

_Oh god._

She pulled out her phone and quickly dialled her boyfriend, wanting to bail at the last minute.

Jack didn’t pick her call up, and Lena figured it’s either he knew what this call was about or he didn’t notice his phone was ringing among the loud EDM music. So she tried calling her friend, Sam.

 _“Hey, Lena. Where are you?”_ Sam’s voice was hard to hear over the loud thumps of the bass. _“There’s this dude who keeps on trying to dance with me. Ew.”_

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll come in.” Lena subconsciously chewed on her bottom lip while she spoke to her friend. “I don’t really feel like getting sweaty and being puked on. But don’t tell Jack I’m here-”

_“Uh, too late. He just went out to look for you.”_

“Why aren’t you coming in?” Jack’s voice sounded irritated. She didn’t even have to see his face to know which expression he had put on- his _ego-hurt-boyfriend_ face.

“I don’t feel like dancing,” she says as she put her phone back in her purse. “You should stay, though. I could go back on my own.”

“ _Come on,_ Lena. I told everyone you’d be here. How do you think that makes _me feel_?”

_Like someone whose really big pride got hurt._

Just when she was coming up with a great comeback, a voice called out to her.

“ _Lena?_ Lena Luthor?”

Lena turned to the direction of the voice and was met with a woman with glasses and half-tied golden locks.

“Oh my god! Kara!” Both women smiled wide and leaned in to hug each other. “How have you been?” Suddenly, Lena felt a nudge from her side. “Um- Jack, this is Kara…”

“Danvers. Kara Danvers.” The blue-eyed blonde offered a hand to Jack, which Jack courtly shook.

“Right! Kara _Danvers_. Kara, this is Jack.”

“Her boyfriend.”

Kara gave a confused smile- seemingly not knowing how to respond to the statement. “Her childhood friend.” She spoke while looking directly at Jack’s eyes. “Back from Midvale.”

_Oh no._

“Midvale?”

_Fuck._

“Haha… yeah, it was a really long time ago.” Lena has to steer away from the topic. Abort. _Abort._ “So how are-”

“I thought your family is from Metropolis.”

This was not a conversation she wanted to have in the middle of a sidewalk in front of a crowded nightclub. “We _were_ from Metropo- you know what? Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow, hm?”

Jack gave her an incredulous look, and then he walked back to the club, storming off. “Do whatever you want, Lena.”

“Oh my- I’m _so sorry_.” Kara stood beside her, looking mortified.

“No, no- it’s okay.” Lena quickly squeezed a hand on the upper arm of her beige coat in assurance. “He’s in one of those moods. I just never told him about the adoption thing.”

“Yikes, Lena. I’m _really_ sorry.”

“Stop it, you didn’t know.” Lena waved her hand in dismissal. “You hungry? Want to eat something?”

“You know I’m _always_ hungry,” Kara said with a grin but it shortly faltered. “But- are you sure? I think you have friends and a _boyfriend_ waiting for you inside.”

Lena shrugged noncommittally. “I think I’d rather catch up with my _childhood friend back from Midvale_ over pizza.” Her statement earned her a laugh from Kara, and she can’t help the smile forming on her face at the sound.

“What do you say?”

* * *

Breaking a routine is hard. But going back to a past routine took the least amount of effort.

They were talking the same way they always did back when they were little. The difference now was only because since they have grown up separately, their talks are deeper, _heavier_ , and there are way _too many things_ to cover in just a few hours.

Lena wouldn’t have noticed that it was already 2 am if she didn’t catch a glimpse of the ticking clock hanging on the wall.

“You know,” Kara spoke in between her sips of soda. “You’ve grown up so much since I saw you all those years ago. You were just a little skinny girl with pale skin.”

“Is that a way of telling me that I’m _fat_ ?” Lena teased Kara in mock offence. _"How dare you?"_

“No! That’s not what I mean- _Lenaa._ ” Kara put her hands on her face, covering up her creeping blush. Honestly, the gesture looked so cute she can’t help but laugh. She felt her forearm being flicked repeatedly in retaliation by Kara, who’s looking _red_.

“As I was trying to say,” Kara continued speaking as she shot Lena a playful glare. “You look different- in a _good_ way. No, wait- you look _amazing_. But no matter how different you looked, I just can’t miss those green eyes of yours. I could _never_ forget them.”

For unknown reasons, Lena felt her heart skipped at the comment.

“Well, your too-wide of a smile still haunts me in my sleep, so _it’s only fair_.” She remarked in an attempt to gain back her ground. “You know, you look great yourself- and was that _muscle_ I felt on your bicep earlier?” They laughed together in a familiar way, falling back to an old habit of teasing and friendly banter.

When their laughter died down, there was a slight crinkle showing in between Kara’s eyebrows, and Lena noticed that she can’t stop fiddling with her glasses. She looked like she was trying to say something, but clearly hesitated.

“What is it?” Lena tried to poke her open.

She met Lena’s gaze and gave her a sad smile- similar to the one she had on that day they hugged goodbye.

“Why did you stop sending letters?”

“Something you should know about _the Luthors_ ,” She was half expecting that her best friend must have wondered why she stopped writing. And she knew that Kara deserved to know the truth. “I wasn’t allowed to keep any connections to my past. My mother has told me a lot of times that I have an _image_ to keep up- that keeping in contact with the orphanage apparently would taint _their_ image.”

“Your family sounded like a pain in the ass. No offence.”

“None taken. They _are_ a pain in the ass.” Lena raised her eyebrows in agreement. “But with the company and the _power_ , I might be able to change the world, after all. And they’re not _always_ such a pain, I actually work pretty well with my father.”

“You’re right,” Kara nodded. “Although, it’s still kinda sad. I thought you would have stayed in my life, you know.”

Okay, that stung a bit.

“Well,” Lena tried to salvage the situation, desperately not wanting to seem like Kara wasn’t a _big deal_ of her life- because she _was_. “Now that we’re both in National City, away from _my family_ , we could stay in each other’s lives.” Lena gave a hopeful smile.

And then Kara told her about a job offer in Argentina, which got Lena feeling really ecstatic and _proud_. But she also said something that suddenly made Lena feel burdened.

“I _want_ to take it, but I don’t know… I was kinda searching for reasons to stay. My sister is here, and I also got an offer in National City with higher pay and now- _you’re_ _here_. It kinda tipped the balance.”

“But you shouldn’t miss out on this kind of opportunity _just because_ you ran into an old friend.” Lena moved her hand to cover Kara’s, then she gave a small smile. “Take the job, Kara. You always wanted to see the world.”

When they said goodbye, Kara kissed her temple as they hugged.

There’s another familiarity she didn’t know she has missed so much. The warmth in Kara’s embrace was always able to comfort her unlike anything else.

Grateful at the physical affection, she told her, “Good luck in reaching your dreams, Kara.”

“Good luck in reaching yours, Lena.”

It’s funny. More than eleven years ago, they would sit down and talk about it.

To be honest, Lena was happy to find out that her best friend’s life seemed to take the right turn- presenting her with an opportunity to be one step closer to her dream.

She should be as happy with her own life, with a path in front of her leading her towards her dream- through famous biomedical engineering company and a power-thirst family.

But to be doing all of this without Kara? It seemed dull.

She took another cab ride to go back to her apartment. It was thankfully a weekend, so Lena didn’t have to get up so early and get back to work.

After spending hours talking and listening, the quiet ride of the cab- which Lena usually would’ve liked, suddenly turned deafening. Everything felt hollowed.

And for _other_ unknown reasons, Lena can’t stop the tears falling down her face.

To think that she rarely cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. How was that?
> 
> Spam me with comments because I love reading them!  
> Leave a kudo if you like this fic- and to cheer up my day.


	4. "Are you sure about this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be smut. Prepare yourself.

“ _Golly_ … you look so beautiful in that dress. _Oh, I think I’m gonna cry._ ”

Kara took off her glasses and fanned her eyes with a hand in an attempt to dry her tears away. Her sister gave her a glare and said, “Don’t you dare cry. It was an _expensive_ concealer you had around your eyes, Kara.”

The third time Kara met Lena was when she had arrived back in National City not longer than 24 hours.

Her eyelids have been threatening to close, and she could barely stifle her yawns anymore. If it weren’t from the concealer, the panda eyes would have been visible- and Alex would start blaming her for taking such a last-minute flight from Indonesia to come here.

Sleep deprivation caused by jet lag _wasn’t_ a good mix with your sister’s wedding, as it turned out. She still got scolded by Alex anyway, after she was found sleeping through the whole ceremony in the bride’s changing room. She owed Kelly, her now-sister-in-law one for managing to help her in calming Alex down.

Kara has to buy the couple something _expensive_ as their wedding gift to make up for her absolute, utter stupidity.

At the very least, the dried-up drool has only taken place on her shoulder and not on her blue laced dress, and she didn’t look like a dishabille.

The venue of the wedding was located just a little bit outside the city. Alex told her since the first moment she announced her engagement, that she wanted a countryside wedding, but still wanted all of her friends to make it. So she found one place that’s remotely resembled a vineyard setting, within a reachable distance.

Kara was eyeing at the buffet table, looking for more food to eat- despite that she already had finished a full course meal earlier.

The reception party was in full swing. People were talking, laughing, and the dance floor was crowded with guests. Alex and Kelly really did the numbers of invites _generously._ And Kara basked in the amount of food provided to accommodate all these crowds.

She was just reaching for the chocolate fountain when a voice called her name.

“Kara!” A woman with burgundy lips in a tight black off-shoulder dress approached her. “How- what are you doing here?”

“Gosh, _Lena_!” Kara set down her plate to the nearest table. “It’s my sister’s wedding!” She leaned to give Lena a hug, mindfully putting her arms around the middle of her back to be respectful.

“Of course- Alex _Danvers_.” Lena shook her head in amusement. “I knew Alex has a sister but I thought her sister lives in Bali.”

“I _am_ her sister living in Bali. Just landed in National City this morning!” Kara grinned as she pointed at herself with her thumb. “What about you? How did you know Alex?”

“I knew her from _Kelly_ , actually. I was her brother's ex-fiancee- _weird_ , I know. But she invited me anyway.”

Lena _was engaged_. She didn’t know Lena was engaged.

Why did the engagement break? Has it been a long time or was it pretty recent?

_Why did Kara feel like she suddenly wanted to know everything?_

“Oh, was he the one I met in that club _way_ back then? _Jack Spheer_ , right?” Kara said, trying to stop her own thoughts from marathoning to unknown places.

“God, you _listened_. No, not him, though. This is James Olsen,” Lena scanned the crowd and pointed her finger. “He's right there.” Kara followed the direction of Lena's index finger and spotted a tall handsome man with dark skin.

“Damn, _Lena Luthor_ , the _ever demanded_.” Kara used a teasing tone while she nudged her best friend with her shoulder.

“Hush, I’m pretty sure you have people lining up for you as well, _Kara Danvers_.” Lena nudged back using her shoulder. “I mean, _look at you_.” The up and down checking out made Kara blushed slightly.

The night went on and she was having such a good time with Lena. They danced to the upbeat music the DJ was playing, they drank a lot, they laughed _a lot_ \- especially when Kara volunteered to sing a song on stage. Apparently, singing _Boom Boom Pow_ at a wedding was a great way to incite cheers from a whole bunch of crowd.

Alex and Kelly seemed to appreciate the energy, because they, too, were roaring with laughter.

By the time she went down the stage after shouting _thank you, everybody!_ she was swarmed by people- women, men, old, and young, giving her high fives and cheering for her. But a particular hand tugged her wrist and pulled her out of the mass.

“I told you,” Lena said with a sly smirk and one raised eyebrow. _“People lining up for you.”_

Kara’s heart was pacing fast. And maybe it was just because of the adrenaline.

* * *

They moved to talk in Kara’s assigned cottage, rented by the brides to accommodate their family members.

Kara has insisted for Lena to stay with her tonight, with a firm tone saying _there’s no way I’m letting you drive drunk, Lena_.

It was a small wooden cottage only consisting of a pantry, small living space, and a bedroom with an en suite. There was a brick fireplace in front of the queen-sized bed, giving the area a warm lighting and the imitated fur rug added to the cosiness of the room.

They sat at the foot of the bed, both were far from sober. They caught up a bit on each other’s lives, and as it normally would, their conversation has turned into one people under intoxication would have- which involved more boldness and less, _much less_ filter.

They talked about emotional things, loneliness, but also about embarrassing stories, past lovers, and _embarrassing stories_ with their _past lovers_.

“How was I supposed to believe that? I only slept with her _once_!”

Kara took a sip out of the glass of wine she poured right when they walked in the room.

“I don’t know, Kara,” Lena said after she set down her own empty glass on the floor. “Love is an enigma. Maybe that girl was really in love with you.”

“Or _maybe_... she was just infatuated with me.”

“Or _maybe,_ you’re just _that good_ in bed.” Lena shortly quipped, and both of them snickered, knocking down the _thankfully_ empty glass that Lena had set down earlier.

As their laughter died down, they scooted closer to each other, both leaning back on the bed to face the glowing blaze in front of them.

“You know,” Lena said, breaking the silence. “I think I had _a bit_ of a crush towards you back when we were living in Ms. Grant’s.”

“What? _Really?_ ” Kara looked at Lena in disbelief.

“I mean... you were always _such a sweet girl_ , and we got along _so well_ since we were kids.” She paused a bit before continuing. “Of course back then I was _too little_ to understand it, so I kept it a secret.”

Perhaps it was the booze effect that made Lena’s words all the more endearing to Kara’s ears, because it’s surely the alcohol effects that made her feel more open to sharing too.

“If we’re trading _secrets_ … I have always found you _so beautiful_.”

“Yeah?”

“ _Duh,_ of course! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?” Lena snorted out a laugh at her remarks. The sound of it sang in her ears. “And I know back then, all I wanted to do was to protect you and help you reach your dreams.”

“Oh, how naive were we? With our dreams?”

“As it turns out, you didn’t need my help after all.” Kara smiled earnestly. “I saw the news, you know. You made it to the top, finally _changing_ the world. I knew you would make it, you- _smart, brilliant, fascinating-_ girl.”

“Okay, _stop that_.” Lena covered her face with both of her palms, hiding her deep red blush that was already forming there since she started drinking her _nth_ glass. “You’re going to reignite my crush towards you.”

“Well, I still find you _so beautiful_.”

Kara never realized that _this much_ amount of alcohol will affect her to be _so bold_.

“So, _it’s only fair_ , right?”

She didn’t know what she was expecting by saying something so smugly.

Lena peeked through her hands and locked eyes with Kara. The green orbs refracting the light from the fire, turning it into an ember orange. She slowly lowered her hands and blinked several times.

Kara only realized that she has leaned _so close_ towards Lena when she felt the soft breaths on her cheeks. She can’t help but to look at the faded lipstick on Lena’s lips and darted her eyes back to a pair of blown pupils.

Maybe, in the back of her mind, she _knew_ she was expecting that Lena would kiss her _like this_ , after all.

* * *

The way Lena was kissing her was needy, desperate, and with just the right amount of _rough_.

They were kissing. Her _childhood best friend_ was kissing her, and she was kissing her back. It wasn’t even the type of kiss that was _supposedly ideal_ for a first kiss- which should’ve been soft, chaste, and sweet. This is the kind of kiss Kara knew would _totally_ _lead somewhere_ \- or obviously in this case, _the bed_.

She broke away from plump lips just enough to ask Lena, “Are you sure about this?”

“We are tipsy, we are lonely, and you _did_ just say how beautiful you find me.”

“Good point.” She almost leaned back in before she stopped herself to ask another question. “But won’t this- you know, _change things_?”

Lena backed away after a beat of pause, and Kara slightly regretted that her rational part of the mind was presenting itself at this moment. But she knew she would feel better about- _whatever this was-_ if they talked about it with sensible thinking.

“Are you okay with making this a one time thing?” Lena said as she chewed on her own bottom lip nervously. “I mean- I’m not really in the best place to have a relationship right now. Moreover a _long-distance_ one.”

She was right.

“Yes, of course.” Kara nodded and adjusted her glasses. “You deserve someone who could be there for you anytime you need them. Not someone who’s on god-knows-which part of the world whenever you need them.”

“Right. So it’s agreed, then?” Lena stood up and offered a hand to pull Kara up. _“One time thing?”_

Kara smiled, took the hand to hoist herself up, and stood tall beside her raven-haired best friend. “One time thing.”

It didn’t feel like Kara was having a one night stand.

One night stands don’t involve _this much_ jokes and giggles. They don’t involve getting undressed in an orderly manner so that their clothes will still be presentable to wear after.

They especially don’t involve this _huge amount_ of trust.

“ _Whoa_ , I could never unsee that.” Kara widened her eyes at the sight of Lena’s naked body in front of her. “ _No, no-_ don’t cover them! Those boobs look _great_.”

“Haha… thanks?” Lena unsurely lowered her hands that were just hovered in front of her chest. “Yours are- great. Too.” She chuckled awkwardly. “But the most important thing is, _where the hell_ do those abs come from? You eat like a _human rubbish bin_!”

“Hey! Rubbish bins don’t have abs!”

See? One night stands _don’t_ involve this kind of snugness and security.

Lena was lying against the bed below her, hair messily spread out on the pillow, surrounding her head like a crown. The orange light coming from the fireplace easily amped up her beauty, shining down over her heaving chest. She looked _exquisite_ , and the open-mouthed kisses they are trading are _heavenly._ Kara was picking up the little hints from the noises she made to figure out what she liked, because Kara wanted her to enjoy this as much as she did right now.

She ripped herself apart from Lena’s mouth and hovered above her, golden tresses like a curtain around them. They were both panting while wearing matching kiss-swollen lips, and the heaves of Lena’s chest made Kara zeroed in on the supple breasts. She did the thing she has been wanting to do ever since she saw Lena’s bare breasts- she dove in between them, licking a long stripe along the sternum, and one hand moved to palm her breast.

“ _Kara-_ ” Lena moaned her name when she used her fingers to rub one nipple, and used her mouth to suck on the other. She felt a hand digging into the hair at the back of her neck, pressing her head against the soft mound she was lapping at.

She could already feel herself growing wet down there. And all it took was just pleasing Lena.

The soft whimpers coming from Lena made her eager to hear _more of it_. She slid herself lower against Lena’s body, nipping lightly at the skin she passed along the way until her chin brushed with coarse hair. She used both of her hands to spread Lena’s legs apart, revealing a view that she can’t help but groan at the sight of it.

Lena’s cunt was already glistening wet.

“Are you just gonna stare?” Surprised, Kara swiftly turned her head upwards to meet Lena’s eyes. Lena was looking at her with half-lidded eyes and a smirk.

_As if she can’t get any sexier._

Kara kept her eyes locked with jade eyes when she slowly leaned in and- a gasp choked out of Lena’s throat. She tried to coax more noises out by flicking and swirling her tongue around Lena’s clit, and the resulting cries and tighter grip of her hair are enough to reward her.

She practically buried herself in Lena’s folds as she used her arms to widen the spread of thighs so that she could delve deeper with her tongue, slipping in and feeling Lena’s wall clenching around her. The feeling was overwhelming. Lena tastes _really good_ in her mouth, and the sensation around her tongue was just driving her crazy. She had to circle her arms around pale thighs to pin Lena down because she had started to buck her hips against Kara’s face.

When heels started digging on her back and a jerky rhythm had taken place, Kara knew that Lena was close. The pitch of the moan got higher and higher, and her walls were starting to twitch. Kara slid one hand to gently stroke her hip, trying to tell her silently that it’s okay to release her pleasure.

Lena shouted to the ceiling when she came.

Kara’s head was still clamped in between her legs when she finally calmed down after riding out her orgasm. Her legs opened in a languid movement and fell back onto the bed.

“Fuck, Kara.” Lena raised one arm to cover her eyes, still panting hard. “That was…”

“I know, I know,” Kara said with a smug grin. She positioned herself to lay down on her side beside Lena. “No need to thank me.”

Lena snorted as she moved the arm from her face to lightly slap Kara’s forearm.

“Let’s see if you still have that cocky grin on once I’m done with you.”

* * *

“Aren’t you scared?” Lena asked her, tangled in the blanket, still bare-bodied.

“Not even the slightest.” Kara said as she stared at the ceiling. “I love the element of surprise.”

The first signs of dawn had presented themselves. They had fallen asleep for a few hours, not even sure who dozed off first and who woke up later.

They have been speaking in a quiet volume to aid their recovering hangover, and to keep the calm of daybreak undisturbed. Surprisingly enough, the atmosphere between them didn’t change much.

Friendly. Comfortable.

They talked about how Kara was always moving around the world, liking the surprises offered to her along the journey, while Lena has something really solid that she just can’t leave behind. Which led them to a mutual agreement that this was just going to be a _one time thing_ , and it didn’t have to change their friendship into _something else_.

Kara helped Lena in gathering her clothes, whilst offering her to be driven back to the city. But Lena politely declined, “It’s okay. I should get right back to work, anyway.”

Before she left, Lena gave her number to Kara. She told her to keep it _just in case_ she ever needed it.

Just like their previous farewells, they hugged before Lena went to her car. Their embrace this time wasn't exactly special, but somehow it made Kara longed to keep holding her best friend a little while longer.

“Have a good life, Kara.” Lena patted her back softly, saying their usual farewell greetings. “Stay fearless.”

“You too, Lena.” She stroked Lena’s raven hair. “Stay brilliant.”

What was it that Kara did in her past lives for her to be granted one _Lena_ in this life, she would never know.

Their lives overlapped yet again, but the thing about timing is that it’s just- _sucky_. And it still won’t let Lena stay in her life. Not even this time.

Kara rushed to her en suite, suddenly feeling like she wanted to vomit at the sudden flooded feelings in her gut. It felt just like the times she got airsick on the plane.

But she wasn’t even flying yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spam me with comments because I love reading them!  
> Leave a kudo if you like this fic- and to cheer up my day.


	5. "For old time's sake?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the moment before the Prologue. Get ready for more emotional roller coaster.

The last time Lena met Kara was when she attended Ms. Grant’s funeral.

Along the years, she received texts from numbers with different country codes. The intervals between each text vary- sometimes weeks apart, months apart, and in one specific +45 code, two years and four months apart.

_It’s one of the happiest countries in the world, after all._

The texts were simple, and it never lasted for more than three lines traded between them. But it still made Lena quite happy every time she received them, nevertheless. Because at least, Kara had thought about her.

The chapel was full of people. Lena was watching Kara giving her memorial speech on the podium. She wore a simple black shirt tucked in a pair of black slacks, with hair swept in a neat updo and there was just something about her that made her just _easy to look at_.

She was talking in a calm manner, standing beside the closed casket decorated with white flowers. In fact, the whole room was decorated with white flowers, which should’ve been _too much_ for a funeral, but it just made the procession _beautiful_.

When she first received the text two days ago from _another_ unknown number- an _American number_ this time, she wasn’t sure if it was Kara’s. So she dialled it, and was somehow relieved when greeted with a distinct voice she knew as her best friend’s, despite the nasal voice she used perhaps from too much crying.

They ended up spending three hours on the phone, talking late into the night. Lena tried as hard as she could to comfort Kara, no matter how bad she knew she was at comforting people. Kara must be devastated.

She immediately booked a flight to Midvale after Kara told her the time and place of the memorial service. She planned to make it a day trip, flying in early in the morning, and catching a flight back just before the sun set.

Yes, her company has been _thriving_. She has been sitting in the CEO position, has been taking the role as appointed chairperson, has successfully brought the company to achieve plenty of awards and achievements- but all of those didn’t _just happen_ without any effort. She rarely went out, and she didn’t even take holiday breaks.

 _This_ was an exception, though. Lena can’t miss this one.

“... and even though she always called my name _wrong_ ,” a few watery little laughs could be heard among the crowd. “I know that she raised me and _all the other children_ as her own.”

A man in black, which seemed to be the funeral director- started clapping formally, and Lena followed suit along with the crowd.

“Kara, I’m so sorry.” Lena approached Kara and greeted her with a hug.

“Lena,” Kara tightly wrapped her arms around her. “I’m glad you made it.”

It was in a less-desired circumstance, but being embraced like this made her realize just how much she missed her best friend. She lightly pecked the side of Kara’s head before replying, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“So how long are you staying in Midvale?” Kara asked her when they backed away.

Lena opened her phone to check the time. “Well, my flight is in two hours.”

“What!?” Kara’s eyes widened in surprise. A few people around them turned their heads and Kara said _sorry_ with a sheepish smile. “You have to go soon, then!”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Lena smiled tightly but there was a frown showing on Kara’s face. It made her chest ached because she didn’t want to leave so soon either. “But what about you? Are you going to fly back out there soon?”

“Oh, I’m staying here.” Kara fiddled with her glasses and gave a small smile. “It’s been a few months, actually.”

“Wow- really?”

“Haha… yeah. I think I had my share of seeing the world.” Kara shrugged and chuckled wryly. “I’m just taking care of the Danvers’ farm now, so… _Midvale_.”

 _Huh._ Why did Lena just know about this?

They stood there, awkward air shifting around them.

Some people have already shuffled out of the room, bidding their farewells to Kara with a nod. Most people here knew her, and they either didn’t remember Lena, or they’re just too intimidated to talk to her- being a public figure and all.

“Uh- do you want to- _maybe_ , stay longer?”

That sounded like a really bad idea and Lena wasn’t sure why she suddenly did not quite want to stay here any longer.

But when she opened her mouth to say her refusal, Kara interrupted. “I know you’re most probably busy running a _multibillion-dollar company_ \- but I don’t know,” she rubbed the back of her own neck, shifting on her feet. “For old time’s sake?”

She knew she shouldn’t do this.

“Let me make a few calls.”

_She really shouldn’t be doing this._

* * *

“I’m sure I’ll find a vacant motel or something.” Lena tried to reason with Kara.

“No, you won’t.”

Lena was a master of persuading people into doing what she aspired in business meetings. So it was a questionable thing when she was the one getting jawboned into staying at Kara’s place- no matter how much of a _mistake_ that must have been.

Her 36 years old best friend had managed to convince her with a pout and pair of puppy eyes.

_Yes. That._

She was riding shotgun in Kara’s car, wearing a black blouse and tight black skirt that she felt appropriate for a funeral. A pop song melody ringing in her ears, and Kara sang along the songs as she drove along the scenic road. Midvale hasn’t changed much.

Lena had the pleasure to _finally_ meet Kara’s parents- Eliza and Jeremiah- a lovely couple in their sixties. They had a nice talk over a relatively early dinner, if compared to what Lena usually had.

It was fun getting to know the periods of her best friend's life that she has been missing out, especially to hear about the embarrassing experiences. She didn’t think she could laugh so much when talking with people much older than her, but there’s something about Kara’s parents that’s just- well, _oddly familiar_. Perhaps because they were so friendly and welcoming, just like Kara.

When the sky has darkened, Kara excused both of them to resign for the night. They walked to a separated cabin not far from the house, which apparently had just finished building a couple of weeks ago. Lena’s eyes widened when Kara told her _I actually build this myself with some help from Jeremiah_ , and she has to swat away her own thoughts because now she’s imagining a picture of Kara’s muscular body lifting up logs and-

_Thirsty much, Lena?_

Despite the plain wooden façade, the interior of the cabin was actually pretty cosy and surprisingly, _colourful_.

Vibrant pictures were on the wall, patterned cushions and flashy throws are on the sofa. It was a peculiar combination in terms of style, but it’s just _so Kara_ , and Lena can’t stop smiling since the second she stepped into the room.

“Should we release the alcohol or should we just be classy and drink tea?” Kara said with a grin as she approached her kitchen.

“Let’s stay sober this time.” Lena quipped with a smirk.

They talked and reminisced as they sat on the teal coloured twill sofa with each of them holding a red cup of tea. Their lives have crossed paths several times, and it’s always an easy task to fall back into effortless conversations.

Now that Kara wasn’t moving all around the world anymore, Lena can’t help the feeling of wanting to be with her more than anything. The feeling is foreign, and it’s _scary_.

Kara was just being her usual _platonic_ self, not sending any signals to her. She was pretty sure she’s being _way_ ahead of herself, but she can't help the hopeful feeling that maybe- just _maybe_ \- Kara wanted her too. Or at least- _did Kara still find her beautiful?_

“ _Whoa_ , look at the time.” Kara’s words cut off her trains of thoughts. “It’s almost midnight. You better get some rest for your flight tomorrow.”

“You’re right.” Lena raised from her seat and gathered all the cups to be put in the sink. Speaking of _the sink_ , something in her brain suddenly had just started _sinking in_.

_Where was she going to sleep? What was she going to wear? Should she ask Kara to lend her clothes? Should she sleep in her current clothes? Should she sleep in just her under-_

“Grab whatever you like from the dresser in my bedroom,” Kara said as she walked from the living room into a doorway that seemed to be the said bedroom. “There’s no way I’m letting you sleep in those _boardroom apparels_.”

That actually answered some of her questions.

Lena ended up sleeping on the same bed as Kara.

Which was bad, if the notions that have been running around her mind all day were being put to the account.

She was insisting that she’ll be okay sleeping on the couch, but Kara didn’t even budge and stood her ground. She kept on firmly saying that _there’s enough space for two people in this bed. I promise there are no bed bugs_ \- which was such a sweet gesture, but it spiked Lena’s mind to reach an even higher level of warning signs.

She wanted to imprecate a curse upon her best friend for being so nice to her- if only she wasn’t so enticed by it.

_Stop it._

Kara has offered without any tone of ulterior motive. She has to stop hoping. It was pretty obvious that her best friend wasn’t trying to make a move on her. Not with that _just friendly_ of a smile, not with that ridiculous but cute patterned pyjamas she has on.

The two of them were lying down, covered in a fluffy blanket, staring at the white ceiling. The room was dark because both of them had always liked it that way- sleeping in pitch darkness with just the faint moonlight accompanying them.

This was just like that time Lena cried when she missed her mum. The bedsheet around her, as well as the sweater she was wearing, they all smelled like Kara. And they made her feel like she was being wrapped snugly by her best friend, just like that night too.

_Stop it._

"You know," Kara started to speak, breaking the silence. "It’s been eight years since the last time we met."

"Wow, time flies."

Dangerous. Her thought was entering a dangerous zone.

Because, talking about the last time they met had caused a certain memory to emerge. A memory of their bodies pressed together, a memory of Kara’s tongue on her. A _memory_ Lena has kept safely deep inside her mind, and only ever surfaced whenever she was feeling lonely and-

"I can't believe it has been so long since I saw you naked."

_Shit_.

Did she say that out loud?

Heavy stillness settled around them.

_Why the fuck did she brought that up?_

That was extremely stupid.

Everything from agreeing to stay longer, to agreeing to sleep on Kara's bed was stupid. No, it was before that.

Having sex with Kara- no. Talking with her cerulean eyed best friend over pizza at midnight- no. It was way _way_ before that.

Being friends with Kara, crying in front of Kara, letting herself being hugged in comfort by Kara _was stupid._

Because now, all of the emotions built up along the years are suddenly _too much_ , and she can’t run away from this any longer.

She’s in love with Kara.

She has never let herself admit it before- not even in her own thoughts. The first impact of this self-declaration was a _huge blow_ to her chest.

Lena tried to notice any changes coming from the woman beside her, but the _concerningly fast_ heartbeats thundering in her chest were boggling her whole sensory system. Her heart was pumping at the back of her throat. It was suffocating.

Unknowingly, there was a sudden urge arising at the top of her head- a desire to just _touch Kara._

She dared herself to slide her arm against the white sheet- but hesitated just the moment before she actually moved it.

_Will Kara want it? Will she be okay if Lena holds her?_

Maybe Kara will freak out and kick her out, then she has to find a way to go all the way to the airport and catch a last-minute flight to National City.

She felt a slight shifting movement from beside her, but it’s still visible in the corner of her eyes that Kara is still _stiffly_ staring up at the ceiling. Somehow, she could tell that Kara’s heart was beating as fast as hers.

_Fuck it._

She slowly moved her hand, reaching out _bit by bit_ until-

She touched another hand. _Kara’s_ hand.

_Oh._

Lena hasn’t even reached _halfway_ , she was sure of it.

Which means, _Kara was reaching for her hand too_.

It took what seemed like a long moment until two hands gradually, _carefully_ , weaved together, fingers moulding in between one another.

Kara’s hand felt warm. It fitted hers like a puzzle piece- the 3D ones, just like the miniature landmark figures she used to assemble with her best friend when they were little.

Complicated, but it worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reaching the end soon! Prepare for the long-chaptered finale (which will feature smut, _ahem_.)
> 
> Spam me with comments because I love reading them!  
> Leave a kudo if you like this fic- and to cheer up my day.


	6. "What now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're picking up right where the Prologue has left off.  
> And please buckle up, because we are racing towards the finish line!

Kara has seen a lot of things in the world. But nothing seems as _right_ as being with Lena.

And if she ever needs to prove to someone how much she means those words, she has plenty.

The way she chews her bottom lip when she’s nervous, the way her whole face crinkles whenever she laughs _really hard_ , the way one of her eyebrows arched when she’s teasing. It’s also the way she makes Kara feel like the most important person in the world whose dream really _matters_ \- among a lot of other feelings she felt around her best friend. All of it seems just right.

“What time is your flight?” Kara asks her as she puts one hand on the steering wheel, and the other towards the button of the car’s stereo.

“Not for another four hours,” Lena says as she reaches for the seatbelt. “But it’s okay, you can just drop me off the airport and I could do some work while I wait.”

As Kara drives her mint green convertible car, a silent question appears in the back of her mind.

When will she meet Lena again after they part ways this time?

Lena is sitting quietly beside her, raven hair blowing against the wind, and Kara has to concentrate to stop herself from running her fingers through the strands of dark hair.

 _Beautiful._ That’s the only word she could think of right now.

“You know, perhaps…” Kara says a bit loudly to make sure she could be heard among the wind. “Would you like to see the house?”

Lena doesn’t reply directly, and Kara almost wants to withdraw her offer when she finally hears a short answer.

“Sure.”

It didn’t take long for them to reach the front porch with a sign that Kara knows _all-too-well_ \- an oval shaped signage with green background and a white written text of _‘Grant Home of Children’._ There are leaves scattered around the front yard, and some patches of the grasses have started to look outgrown. She makes a mental note to take care of that later this week.

The wooden decking of the front porch creaks as pairs of black high heels and worn-out leather boots step on it. Kara takes out a key from her slacks pocket and unlocks the front door of the house.

“They stopped operating just four months ago,” Kara says as she turns the key clockwise and the door opens. “Ms. Grant gave me the key because she said she knew I’ll decide on what’s best for the house.”

The foyer smelled like paint. The wallpapers that used to be stuck everywhere around the house are now replaced by white drywalls, and the wooden cornice and skirting are finished with matte white paint as well as the window panes and sills. The stair bannister that used to be coloured light brown in a decaying state has now been changed with a dark brown- almost black Duco painted ones.

“And what’s best for the house?” Lena asks her as she stares at her surrounding with her mouth agape. “To turn it into a _French modern house_? Kara, this is _stunning_!”

“I renovated the place.” Kara grins shyly, rubbing her neck. “With Ms. Grant’s approval of course! I gave her pictures when I was working on it and she liked it, so…”

“It’s _beautiful_.” Lena says with a smile that just makes Kara’s heart start pacing. _Took the word out of her mouth._

Both of them go upstairs to take a more thorough look around the house, and Kara is swelling with pride at her best friend’s compliments of each corner she had redone. When they reached the last room at the end of the corridor, she hesitated for a bit before turning the handle knob open. Of all the rooms scattered inside the house, she hasn’t touched this one yet.

“ _Aw_ , you still kept everything.” Lena skips into an old bedroom that was once theirs. Something about this blast from their past just got them feeling all happy and _giddy_. “How long has it been? Almost thirty years?”

They scan the space, reminiscing and recalling the past memories that they had in this very room.

“Maybe I’ll have the place back in operation, once I get it all redone,” Kara says as she looks out the window. “I mean, it’s not like I have anything better to do. The farm isn’t all that occupying,” she paused for a bit before saying her next words. “And I _have_ achieved my dreams, after all.”

Lena walks up beside her, also looking through the dirty window. “You’ve seen the world.”

She turns her head to look at Lena with a soft smile. “And you’ve changed the world.”

Lena closes her eyes, lowers her head and lets out a small giggle. “What now?”

“I guess we find new dreams.”

There’s something about standing here beside Lena, with the warmth of their conversation engulfing the space, that just makes her _yearns_. She wants more time.

“Backyard?”

The wind rustled the leaves, even blowing some of them off the branches and onto the grass. They approach the bench underneath the canopy and sit down. It’s still pretty early in the morning, even the sun is only just starting to feel hot.

“Take a look at this.” Lena points down on the bench, and Kara notices all the initials that were carved on the wooden surface. If Ms. Grant ever finds out about this, she surely will go mad and track down everyone with their name on it, just to personally scold them. “Seems that this bench has witnessed more than just our friendship.”

 _Friendship._ Is that what this is?

Kara puts a finger to feel the indentations on her fingertips. All of these children must have had a great time. “Do you think they are all still in each others’ lives? Like we are?”

Lena shrugs. “Maybe.”

Quietness once again fills the air. The similar kind as the one that happened last night. It’s the kind of quiet that makes Kara’s mind blank and only filled with _Lena, Lena, Lena_ \- and it’s _frustrating_ because all she wants to do every time it happens is to hold this person _she cares for so much_ tightly, and to make her stay in her life _for good_.

What happened last night has got her hoping.

They held hands like it was the only thing that mattered. They held hands like they’re afraid to face another minute without the other. They held hands like they were trying to tell each other- _please don’t go away this time._

But when Kara woke up in the middle of the night, not quite remembering exactly when she dozed off, Lena was no longer beside her. And it did make her filled with a mild sort of panic, up until she found out that Lena had moved to sleep on the couch.

Perhaps, Lena didn’t feel the same. Perhaps, she has made Lena uncomfortable by touching her. Perhaps, there’s another reason why Lena stopped writing to her.

And _perhaps_ , Kara was the only fool in love.

“Well,” Lena says breaking the silence. “I got a plane to catch.”

It doesn’t matter how much Kara wants more time being with her favourite person, her time is up.

* * *

The drive to the airport was spent in a torturing elation.

It isn’t a busy day- Midvale isn’t really packed with traffic like National City or Metropolis. It never takes too long of a ride to reach from one place to the other since the road is almost never busy. Kara has her convertible’s roof unfolded because all of a sudden, the sky goes dark, and she didn’t want to wait for the rain to wet her car’s interior before closing her roof.

In contrast to the weather, Kara is in between upbeat and _tormented_. They’re talking like they regularly would- sharing stories, cracking jokes, teasing each other, and laughing _hard_. And it should’ve made her brim with just pure delight, but there’s also a twinge of pain in her chest that is getting harder to ignore. She wants this to prolong. She wants a sudden traffic jam to form, so that it’ll take them longer to reach the airport.

She can’t help but pray that somehow, Lena will miss her flight, just so that she can stay with her for another night.

Oh, how _brutally_ in love she is.

Kara pulls over at the drop off area. The laughter from their previous conversation slowly fades out. Lena looks at Kara, and she has the most _frustratingly beautiful_ look on her eyes, sincerely smiling at her with eyes that almost sparkle.

“Thanks for dropping me off,” Lena says as they lock eyes. “And for accompanying me in Midvale.”

Dropping her head down, unable to keep up with the eye contact, Kara lets out a breathy chuckle. “Of course. It’s my pleasure.”

Lena doesn’t move yet. She still sits there, blinking- as if she’s waiting for something. Perhaps, she’s waiting for their usual farewell greetings. But Lena usually starts them, and Kara usually just has to come up with a response.

Is she throwing the ball to Kara’s court? Is she waiting for Kara to start?

Kara doesn’t want _the ball_. _Heck_ , she doesn’t even want to say goodbye. All she wants, right now, is to tuck that stray strand of hair behind Lena’s ear, and kiss her until she forgot that she owns a Fortune 500 company in National City.

“Lena-” she says at the exact same time she hears the word “Kara-”

Both of them laugh shyly in slight embarrassment. “You first.” Lena says to her.

“No-no! _You first_.” She offers her best friend to have her words, in the hope that Lena would be the one to start doing the farewells.

“ _Kara,_ ” Lena uses her threatening tone. “I insist.”

 _Crap_. She doesn't trust herself to come up with _anything_ remotely conventional right now. All the sentences crunching up inside her brain are either too clingy, desperate, or possessive.

She fidgets with her glasses, knowing that Lena’s eyes are following hers. Gathering up all the courage she could find, she dares herself to look back at the pair of jade eyes.

_Oh, who wouldn’t fall in love with those eyes?_

Breathing is difficult. Especially when she’s being stared at _so intently_.

But her brain had finally come up with something, and the words are at the tip of her tongue.

Stay. _Stay with me._

She really just needs to blurt it out.

“Have a safe flight.”

Kara thinks she must have imagined it, but Lena’s glowing eyes have somehow turned dim. In spite of that, she still smiles.

“Thank you.”

It happens in slow-motion.

Lena gathers her purse from her lap and raises an arm to open the door. She then jumps off the car, and moves around to close the door- “Wait!” Kara managed to call out one last time. “What were you about to say?”

Her glistening eyes contrasted with the tight smile on her lips.

“It’s not important anymore.”

And the door closes with a small thud.

If time was in slow-motion just now, it seemed to have come to a complete halt.

Kara is staring blankly at the windshield of her car. The dark clouds have started to throw droplets of water onto the glass, before hastily turning into a waterfall dousing the whole town incessantly.

What just happened? Why didn’t she say it?

_Why did she let Lena go?_

Kara’s sight is suddenly blurry, and it is not because of the stream of rainfall covering her windshield. It’s because there’s a stream of tears pouring out of her own eyes, creating wet spots on her lap.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Her car hasn’t even moved from the dropping off zone. Kara is just blubbering in the middle of the car queue of Midvale Airport. She didn’t even bother with the loud honks from the other cars and the yell of drivers who went around her. She spent minutes which felt like hours, just weeping. She takes off her glasses and puts it on the dashboard before she wipes her face with her hands at the relentless stream wetting down her face.

All of a sudden, the door of her passenger seat swings open, and Kara jolts in surprise.

“Drive.” Her eyes are still fuzzy, but she knows from the voice that it’s Lena. Lena is sitting in her car. _Why is Lena sitting in her car?_ Kara could only blink in confusion. “Kara, _drive_.”

Kara flinches and it takes a beat for her to register Lena’s words. She vigorously wipes her eyes and puts her glasses back on, then she steps on the brake pedal to change gears. She hits the gas pedal before being exactly aware of what is actually happening.

* * *

They drove for half an hour until they stopped at the parking lot of an abandoned diner. The rain is still pouring hard, and Lena’s hair is still damp from getting drizzled on earlier.

Kara turns to face Lena, confusion still clear on her face. “What happened?”

“What were you thinking when you held my hand?”

Lena doesn’t even look at her face when she utters the question. She then turns her gaze to look straight in Kara’s eyes, desperation showing from her irises. “Why were you crying just now?”

Kara is still trying to gather her thoughts before Lena darts out another question.

_“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”_

She has to gulp down the lump in her throat before she starts speaking. “I was crying _because_ _I didn’t ask you to stay_.” She says quickly, suddenly out of breath. “I _swear_ Lena- I wanted to. _I was going to_.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I thought it would be selfish.” She frowns at the sombre look Lena is giving her. “I thought you didn’t want to stay.”

“I thought you didn’t want _me_ to stay.”

“But you moved to the couch! _Why did you sleep on the couch?_ ”

Lena surges forward and presses her lips with Kara’s. She breaks it off as blue eyes widened in surprise.

 _“I was scared, okay?”_ Her breathing is ragged, her mouth quivering slightly.

_“I was scared to discover that I’m in love with you.”_

Kara’s heart is going to burst out of her chest. Is she dreaming? _Did Lena really just said-_

Not trusting her short-circuited brain to form words, she reaches for Lena’s hand to hold it- first, in a loose grip, and slowly, fingers interlacing one another to perfectly fit back together, just like from the night before. The contact brings out a soft sigh from the two of them, and Lena’s eyes flutter when she looks upward to meet her gaze.

“And as for the other question,” she says as she puts their entangled hands towards her chest, which has made Lena’s eyes blinked rapidly because Kara _knows_ that there should be a _crazy-paced_ thumping that expresses her feeling much better than any words could. She tightens her grip like she can’t _quite get close enough_ with Lena. “Do you feel that?”

Lena gently nods.

_“This heart had been suffering the most every time we hugged goodbye.”_

And a pair of lips crash with her own mouth once again.

They kiss like it was the only thing that matters. They kiss like they’re afraid to face another minute without the other. They kiss like they were trying to tell each other-

 _"Please don’t go away this time,”_ Kara whispers against Lena’s mouth.

The hard pitter patters of the rain isolate them from the outside world as the rain continues to pour down heavily. It’s only the two of them in their own little world, exchanging passionate, _heated_ kisses.

“I want you,” Lena blurts out in between kisses. “I want you now,” she sneaks a hand to the back of Kara’s neck and pulls her even closer. “I want you for ever.”

“You took the words out of my mouth.” Kara leans closer and puts one hand on Lena’s hip, digging her fingers on the rumpled skirt, slightly tugging. “Come here.”

It takes some messy tumbling for several seconds before they managed to get into a new position- seat belts unbuckled, driver’s seat pushed back as far away from the steering wheel as possible, Kara's glasses long discarded, and Lena, _her best friend Lena_ , with all her level of _glorious beauty_ even with dishevelled hair, is now straddling her lap while kissing her neck. Nimble fingers have already started to open the buttons of her shirt, and she hisses when she feels cold fingers touching her shoulders.

She roams her hand all over Lena’s body, wanting to feel as close as possible. Thankfully, Lena gets rid of her top herself when she notices Kara’s fumbling trying to figure out how to unzip the blouse. Kara quickly slides a hand to unclasp the nude-coloured bra, freeing Lena’s breasts out of it. She uses her hands to grope them, palm slowly rolling the now hardened nipples, earning herself a groan. Her tongue trails upwards from the side of Lena’s neck to gently licks her earlobe. “Tell me what you need.” She speaks softly to her ear.

“I need- _oh_ -” Lena takes a sharp intake when she feels one of her nipples pinched slightly, and whimpers when her earlobe is starting to be sucked on. “I need you to _fuck me_ like you love me.”

“But I _do._ ” Kara quickly retracts and faces Lena directly in front of her, seeking into the green eyes she adores so much. “I _do love you_ , Lena.”

 _“Yeah?”_ The question is asked in a hopeful, delicate tone, and Kara’s heart wrenches at the sound of it.

“Of course,” she plants a chaste kiss onto Lena’s lips. “I’ve been in love with you for _god knows_ how long.” And then she captures Lena’s mouth back into a deep, fervent kiss.

She can’t suppress her moan when Lena bites on her bottom lip, before slipping a tongue inside her mouth. She places one hand on Lena's thigh and slowly slides it upwards to ruck up her skirt. She tentatively pulls her panties to the side and uses her thumb to start rubbing circles on the already sodden lips. Lena gasps and rocks her hip forward, begging for more.

Still giving Lena wet kisses, she moves her thumb to gather slick onto her clit, giving it quick swipes on the hardening nub. Lena’s back arches, her breathing turns ragged, and she whines into her mouth. _“Kara, please-”_

She starts to pepper kisses on pale freckled shoulders. When she daringly slips in two fingers up until one knuckle deep, Lena clutches her arms around Kara’s neck and she starts to grind her hip into those fingers. Their pace started slowly. Lena steadily moves her hips back and forth against Kara’s two pumping fingers. Every time the hip jolts forward, it presses the back of Kara’s hand against her own clit, and the sensation of it is just driving Kara to the edge.

Their heated passion has increased the temperature inside the car. The window has fogged in the contrast cold air from the rain outside, and Kara doesn’t even notice how much fuel she’s wasting by leaving the engine on. She is preoccupied with _much more enticing_ things to focus on. The smell of sex filling the air, the wet slapping noises cutting through the sound of pouring rain, and the ever-building pressure settled low in Kara’s belly that is aching to be released.

“ _Fuck-_ ” As if Lena is trying to hint out the same thing, the clutching arms on Kara's neck are pressing tighter and the movement of her hips are getting jerkier. The sound of her moans is also getting frantic. “Kara- _oh god- fuck-_ I’m so close-”

“ _Oh, Lena_ \- you feel _so good_ on my fingers-” And just after Kara said those words, she gasped, eyes slamming shut, and she feels the waves of pleasure crashing down her whole body. 

She hasn’t even come down completely from her high when she hears Lena let out an impatient whine. “I’m already so close, Kara, _please_ ,” her hips pick up a fast but steady pace, chasing her own climax at Kara’s idle fingers. _“Wanna come- just make me come-”_

At Lena’s demand, she focuses back on moving her fingers in quick deep thrusts, with added flexes of her fingers. The walls around her fingers are starting to twitch, and Lena has stopped moving her hips- just freezing up and holding onto Kara’s shoulders for dear life. It takes a few more pumps until Lena comes with a wail.

Kara slows down her hand, moving just to help Lena ride out her orgasm, planting kisses all across her temple, neck, and shoulders, as she whispers _I love you, I love you, I love you_ against the skin. She knows that her whispers are probably drowned out by the sound of rain, but she wants to say it anyway.

Because she feels like no matter how many times she says it, it will never be enough.

* * *

“So if I didn’t come back to the car, what would you have done?”

They are cramped tightly in the driver seat, skin still sticky from sweat and sex. Lena had put back her top on, but her bra is still _somewhere_ underneath the glove compartment. Kara didn’t even bother putting her shirt back on, and she’s just lying there under Lena in only her sports bra and unbuttoned slacks. They’re just waiting for the rain to calm down.

“If you hadn’t come back,” Kara says as she strokes Lena’s messy hair. “I’d definitely still be crying right now.”

“Crybaby.” The body on top of her vibrates with light chuckles. She feigns a gasp, pretending to be annoyed, and moves her hand to playfully slaps Lena’s butt cheek, earning a _hey!_ and a pinch of her forearm.

This feels really nice. She has her best friend in her arms and this is all she wants to do for the rest of her life- planting gentle kisses on raven hair, and stroking slowly on Lena’s back, in hope that she could feel protected and loved. Because Kara loves her _very much_. She loves her ever since she wrapped these arms around her for the first time. She loves her ever since she cries for her. And she never stops.

“I think I’ve been in love with you since that first time you said my name _wrong_.” She says as she reaches to hold Lena’s hand, stroking at the base of Lena’s thumb with her own thumb.

“I remembered that night. You were crying because _I was crying_.” Lena laughs at the memory, turning her head to face Kara, but suddenly she stops her laughter. “ _God, Kara-_ are you crying again?”

Kara just realizes that her cheeks are wet. When did she start crying?

“ _My_ crybaby.” Lena shows an empathetic smile and reaches out to wipe her cheeks. “ _Hey_ … it’s okay. I’m here.” Lena pecks little kisses all over her face, moving from her cheeks, her eyes, her nose- _gosh,_ Kara never felt _so loved_.

She wraps Lena in a bear hug, nuzzling against her temple, squeezing tight until she hears an eek- and maybe because she is in such _warm_ company, and it reminds her of their simpler younger days, that an idea pops up in her head.

Kara squints her eyes mischievously and it gets Lena to ask, “What's that look for?”

_Oh, you're about to find out._

“Kara! _Are you crazy!?_ ” Kara roars a boisterous laugh as she carries Lena on her shoulder, running out of her car and into the downpour. They are completely drenched in just under 10 seconds. She spins around with Lena hanging on tight, shrieking and begging to be put down, while the both of them are laughing hysterically.

Kara feels like a little kid- unburdened, free, and filled with glee. The raindrops prick her skin like needles, acting like acupuncture to soothe her body and soul. She puts the wiggling form of her best friend down, still chortling. Never once in her life that she could be this _carefree_ around someone. Around _anyone_. Anyone else but _Lena_. She raises both of her hands to cup Lena’s jaw, directing her sight to look straight in her eyes. The sparkles in the green eyes she _loves_ so much gives her all the courage she needs.

“Marry me, Lena.”

She isn’t sure if the rapid blinking of Lena’s eyes are an indication if she’s surprised, thinking, or if she is just trying to block the water to get into her eyes. Turns out, she is doing all three.

“Are you sure?" Lena asks with a hopeful expression. "I’m not going to let you dream about anything else aside from a life with me.”

“Well, I’ve been dreaming about _that_ since I was only nine years old,” she caresses wet cheeks with both of her thumbs. “So it’s only fair.”

The content smile she earns from Lena is enough to answer her earlier request, and she returns a knowing smile before leaning in to kiss her beloved.

Kara is utterly blessed that Lena is staying in her life this time, and _for good_. It took them years- maybe _way too many_ years to both their liking. But in one's lifetime, sometimes it’s enough to be content at the present. And right now, she knows she’d never been happier before.

She has found a new dream, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of the story! I hope you enjoyed it. _Gosh_ , this took me a while.
> 
> Anyway, you should know that I read every single comment and I appreciate them nonetheless even if I don't reply to them. So thank you for those who commented!  
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> 
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> 
> Cheers!

**Author's Note:**

> The amazingly talented [@misslane_es](https://instagram.com/misslane_es?igshid=mrorlhyljroc) has made a fanart to this fic! [Check it out now!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CCQjfclqVqa/?igshid=1v8lfhy13q0i0)


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